"Min-yun, get up it's time for school.."
I woke up to my mom's voice.
As always my eyes went to the old alarm clock with the broken face plate.
I saw the time and I started yelling.
"Why did you wake me up now?! God!!"
The sound of the door slamming rang throughout the house.
I put on the school uniform and was leaving.
Then I heard my mom's voice..
"I'm sorry, Min-yun. I'm not feeling so well.."
"Is it ANOTHER cold?! Why do you catch so many colds?!"
"I'm sorry... that I woke you up late... Here... take your lunch."
"It's okay. I'm late I have to go."
I threw the lunch to the ground and went my way without a care.
I looked back while I was running.
My mom was quietly picking up the spilled contents of my lunch.
She was pale...
She always looked pale.
Because she was always sick.
I started running again to school.
Our school is going on a trip this Saturday.
I want to go..
I want to have fun with my friends.
I want to forget poverty.
I want to forget about my mom for a while.
I came home.
I made a face looking at my mom lying down as usual.
"Oh, you're here, Min-yun."
"Mom! I want to go to the trip on Saturday!"
I didn't even say hi and I just demanded an answer.
"What?... A trip?..."
"How much... is it?"
She always asked about the fee first.
She always needed to consider if we had enough money for such luxuries.
"I heard at least 80,000 won (around $80? roughly)."
"Wow... that much?"
"We don't even have that much?! Why aren't we living on the streets?!"
I hated poverty.
I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything.
I hated it.
I hated my mom, and I hated the fact that it was just me and my mom because I was so lonely.
Mom sighed and took out the bank account book.
"I have some money saved up in the bank... Take 80,000 won out of it."
I saw the book and a smile lit up in my face.
I grabbed it and ran to the bank without thanking her.
I looked at the book and it had 1,000,000 won.
I hated my mom even more now that I knew how much she had saved up without spending any.
I took out the 80,000 won..
Now there was 920,000 won left.
Because there was that much money, it felt okay to spend some more.
I thought to myself, 'I always wanted a cell phone, didn't I?"
I took out 400,000 won.
I went to the nearest store and got a good cell phone.
I felt happy.
It felt like the first time I was happy.
I browsed through the streets with my cell phone in my hand.
I saw lots of pretty clothes.
I wanted them. I went to the bank again and took out 200,000 won.
I bought lots of clothes.
Seeing me with pretty clothes in the mirror made me smile.
Then I noticed something.
It was my hair, the ugly hair style that my mom cut for me.
I went to the bank again.
I took out 50,000 won.
I got my hair done.
Everything was perfect.
Now I needed to buy things needed for the trip.
I just bought whatever came to my attention.
It all cost 90,000 won.
Then I went home.
I didn't want to go home but I knew I had to.
Mom was in bed again. I made some noise.
She heard it and woke up.
She took the bank account book and put it back without even looking at it.
Then it was Saturday, the day I had been waiting for.
All my friends complimented me on my change.
There were some hard training in the trip, but I forgot about my mom and poverty...
It felt good not to think about it so much.
It was over. I didn't know three days could go by so fast.
Now I have to go back to that hell hole.
It was quiet in the house..
"I said I'm home!!"
It was still quiet. I was mad so I slammed open the door.
My mom was sleeping..
She'd always smile when I came through the door but now she's sleeping and ignoring me.
Maybe she's mad at me because I spent so much money... Whatever... I'm gonna win anyway if we fight.
I shook my mom.
She was cold.
Tears started flowing from my eyes. I felt like my heart had stopped.
The woman I hated was cold.. and it was strangely sad...
I couldn't believe it...
I tried shaking her awake.
But.. she didn't wake up.
She didn't open her eyes.
I took out the bank account book and showed it in front of her face crying.
"MOM! I'll never do anything like this ever again! I promise!!!! Just wake up!!!!!!!"
Something came out of the bank account book.
It was a letter from my mom.
I carefully opened it.
To my lovely daughter Min-yun..
You hated me right? You hated poverty more than death, right?
I'm sorry... I'm really sorry...
I didn't know anything, and I was poor...
All I had was love...
And my beat-up body...
I'm sorry for having to leave you all by yourself...
I got sick... so I'm leaving first...
I could have had surgery...
But the cost was enormous...
So I thought...
If I didn't have surgery... then Min-yun could buy whatever she wants.
So I gave up on having surgery.
But... time passed by and it keeps getting worse.
Now I only have a few months left.
I'm grateful that you at least thought of this pathetic person as your mother.
You know that I love you the most in this world, right?
I love you... I love you so much...
Also... look around in the blanket... There is another bank account book.
I worked without you knowing and I collected 20,000,000 won.
I'm happy knowing that you'll at least live without poverty.
I see my mom lying peacefully.
And I hate myself.
I hate myself 100 times... no, 1000 times more than I ever hated my mom.
I hate myself so much.
How can you love this brat like me? Huh?
The money for surgery... All the money I spent...
Why didn't you tell me? Why?
I would throw the lunch you packed for me down on the ground..
I always threw tantrums..
Why did you love such a bad daughter like me..
Are you stupid? Why did you love me? Why... why...
Now I can't even see you lying down.
I can't eat the lunch you packed..
I can't hear the voice that would wake me up...
If I ever live again...
If God really gives me another chance...
Then I would treat you so much better... I really can...
Mom, let's meet in the next life.
Mom..... I'm sorry..... I'm really sorry.... I'm sorry.....
This is the first time I ever said sorry to you.
Mom... I love you... I love you...
I love you... I love you...
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